Today I turn 19 years old. It didn't occur to me what the number 19 looks like until I saw it written on a birthday card sent from my grandparents. That's when I thought, "Damn, 19 is kinda old." I imagine when I'm 50 I'll use the 16th of August to reflect on everything I've done up to that point. But today, because I can, I'm choosing to look ahead.
The next 19 years of my life better look a hell of a lot different than the first 19. And they almost have to, right? I want to assume I won't be moving back with my parents after I graduate from college, so that puts me off on my own (starting in about a week, technically).
I want college to be something more than papers and deadlines. I'm a wise, adventurous person, so I don't think I'll have a problem finding a good time sometime in the next four years, but it's a fear that sticks in the back of my mind. What if I completely squander what's supposed to be the greatest stretch of my entire life? I can't bring myself to worry about it too much; that's not who I am.
So after college comes the debt. The crippling debt. The debt that bends you over. I guess my most realistic option is trying at all costs to walk away from a degree with as little debt as possible. Because no debt is utterly impossible, especially if IUPUI keeps tacking on a *"general fee" of $355. I don't want to be one of those people who is ruled by money (or a lack of it), so I should start a good habit now by saying debt is debt, and I'll survive.
Speaking of money, I'm perfectly led to my next topic: marriage. "What's in it for me?" is what 19-year-old me is currently asking himself. I know my pessimistic views of marriage and commitment will one day subside and I'll be left following the groove of the rest of the western people and take on a significant other, but I do think I have one idea about marriage that won't change through the years.
I do not want to jump into something like that in a time of financial uncertainty. More than that, I do not want to have kids in a time of financial uncertainty. I think we've had this coding pounded into our brains since we were young enough to comprehend things that procreation needs to happen on this grand scale and we don't need to plan accordingly. Well I know that's a bunch of bull shit because people with kids are some the unhappiest I've ever met. There's a time and a place for welcoming a baby into the world, and I'll be damned if I don't hit it on the nose.
Switching gears now, I can't neglect a future career. As of now, my plans involve me writing/reporting for a somewhat major network or news source. That's actually been the plan since I was in the eighth grade, but I understand things change. Should I begin to get that feeling of "Oh no, what if this isn't for me?", I know I'll neglect it for a period of time, naturally, but I hope I come to accept those things. Acceptance of something like that seems like the best way to move forward and avoid bobbing up and down in the water.
I absolutely love writing—it's a passion. Elegantly expressing thoughts and feelings for the world to see is something so many people wisely take advantage of, but so few actually utilize it. A great majority take it for granted; I want to be in the minority of this one. To wake up and love what I'm about to do that day—can I really ask for much more than that? I can't.
So, future Tyler, maybe you'll be a family man. Probably not, but I guess the future is unwritten, isn't it? You're never going to avoid that debt, so learn to live and don't bitch about it. And as far as your career is concerned, be open to everything, but never lose a passion.
That's what the next 19 years could look like.
*I hopped on our IUPUI Class of 2018 Facebook group to ask what in the world a general fee of $355 is all about. The financial department responded by saying it's a fee all IUPUI students have to pay. I know I could have taken the obvious route and told them they didn't even answer my question, but I instead noted that a fee all students have to pay is commonly referred to as tuition. The department responded to that with one word: "Exactly." I knew I had won that little argument. Later, when I looked back to see the comments, I saw the department deleted its comments and instead posted a link that explains the fees.
Contact: tyfenwick@gmail.com
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